-ve

我已经把失去的当成了一种收获

Jing Jing said this

情感，

是需经历时间的酝酿，

以及岁月的磨练，

才能酿出甘甜的滋味。

So..I think...

在我还能够抽身而离的时候，就。。。

那么不会获得，更不会失去。

+ve

it was a good talk last night. :)

Not sure how you see it, but to me, certainly good.

Do u understand?

i didnt set out with the intention to let anyone down.

i just dont want to settle for anything less.

i have never been good to myself. so let me, at least this once.

i think after this, i need to get back into my comfort zone.

its not where i am, i realize, but who i am with. because who i am with determines who i am.

and half the time, i simply hate the personna that i am playing.

the upcoming trip shall act as a detox process

Osaka

it is confirmed!

I will be going Japan.

QQ

So I went back to QQ.

The first thing that got into my mind was ...

"they revamped the software design, very nice lei! "

Haha!

开心，因为我真的熬过去了。

讽刺

这种日记的内容很坦诚，不过有点讽刺。

好好地过生活。

时间过的很快，几个月的时间如烟花般短暂，

生活在一个讨厌没有选择的环境，每天对着镜子，把自己整理的一尘不染，整理心情，戴着一副微笑的面孔从容面对身边的这些人，一切都是假的！这样的生活需要自己怎样的调整，面具后是一颗压抑的心。

为了追求，向着理想的目标，每天奋进付出了自己的极限，为了给一个自己生存的理由。

爱和被爱，不经意间，伤害了别人，也被别人的感情伤害，不敢在轻言爱情。

一心向着理想，我不能懂得自己，自己也不能明白自己。

有时，自己觉得自己很难理解，就会有一种茫然厌倦的感觉。

真的不快乐！真的好压抑。

想起曾经走过的艰辛，想起曾经点点滴滴的痛！

内心仍然会泪流满面，习惯了在大喜大悲时用写字来平静自己，只有这样才能平复心中的伤痛。

每个笔划里都有我的思绪，我的忧伤。有时看见自己的字也会感到酸楚和感动。

这是生活吗？问问心里的你！

简单 平淡 单纯是发自心灵深处的那种，明亮！纯洁！这可能就是所谓的快乐吧。

往往真正的幸福是连自己都不能明白 然而幸福，对我来说变成了禁区，好难接近。

当我真正明白了之所以不快乐，可能就是不够活的单纯，其实想想，不要去刻意追求什么，不要向生命索取什么，不要为了什么去给自己塑造形象，其实，简单本身就是一种幸福。

不平静的生活让我变了样子，上天！我还能变吗？

此时此刻我仍然把心情写进每个笔划， 我希望自己能快乐，我想要快乐。

Shokudo


(again) don't know how many times already. Haha!

I like this shot! Huiwen took it for me!

NUS President

this photo is so off lah.

the venue is not good for photos.

Madly in love with this!

Quite interesting

I know you will read. Haha.

http://www.dy2es.tnc.edu.tw/~sweden/cgi-bin/starmatch/astrology.cgi

金牛座女生

首 先 ， 在 外 表 的 穿 著 你 一 定 的 配 合 她 ， 因 為 她 鐵 定 受 不 了 你 穿 著 金 光 閃 閃 炫 模 炫 樣 的 酷 像 ， 平 實 點 ， 所 謂 舒 服 就 很 迷 人 ． 新 生 活 運 動 裡 的 整 齊 清 潔 簡 單 樸 素 不 可 少 ， 小 心 你 抽 完 煙 或 吃 完 東 西 後 的 口 臭 嚇 跑 她 ， 雖 然 說 口 臭 人 人 不 愛 ， 但 金 牛 女 人 對 此 更 是 不 能 忍 受 ．

牡羊座男生

身 為 火 星 之 子 的 白 羊 座 男 人 ， 天 生 就 喜 歡 接 受 挑 戰 和 享 受 征 服 ， 直 來 直 往 的 個 性 會 讓 你 清 楚 知 道 他 到 底 愛 你 或 是 不 愛 你 ， 但 是 如 果 遇 到 一 頭 不 解 風 情 的 羊 ， 那 你 可 要 用 點 心 思 對 他 放 一 點 電 嘍 ！ 想 要 暗 示 白 羊 座 的 男 人 是 不 需 要 太 偷 偷 摸 摸 的 ， 勇 敢 而 明 白 一 點 會 比 較 有 效 的 ， 不 妨 找 個 適 當 的 機 會 故 意 不 小 心 的 跌 倒 在 他 身 上 ， 但 是 怕 受 傷 的 人 請 改 用 『 不 小 心 潑 點 東 西 在 他 身 上 』 這 招 ， 聰 明 的 白 羊 座 男 人 會 知 道 你 的 意 思 的 。 但 是 千 萬 記 住 盡 量 不 要 用 熱 水 或 鹽 酸 之 類 的 液 體 。 配對建議評語 牡羊座的人是急驚風，一 想到就非要馬上行動不可；而金牛座的女子則是優雅的慢郎中，一定要按部就班，以她的牛步調悠游進行，這段感情就像是在烹煮一道菜，牡羊座的男人希望大火快 炒，東西有得吃就好，而金牛座的女人卻是在細火慢燉，務必講究口感與品味，所以彼此之間常常會有速度與質感的衝突；衝突是有化解之道，只要牡羊座的他不必 猴急，多多訓練自己的耐心，不然持續趕牛，牛脾氣一發的話，勢必免不了要用羊角和牛角火拼較量。

Thoughts

been a while since I last pen down thoughts, somehow, it seem that many many things had happened. Yet on the other hand, life seem much peaceful after O levels.

I think it is the "me" element again.

The more I see, the more I think I am very naive.

Speechless

Sam's and Xuan De's awesome ideas.

To Accept



Yea, it is time for me to accept the truth and the reality.

whether I like it or not.

Feels like Home

If you have yet to catch the movie, please do.

Part of me always wanted fame, wealth and power. Part of me now yearns for the simplest thing in life. Eugene is right, family happiness is important. The movie gave me a very different insight to life. It is certainly very very depressing to watch this movie. On a saturday night, quite emotional after the show.

But definitely worth the money.

Jing Jing !!!

thanks. ;) certainly warms my heart when I opened my inbox to find this.

*hugsssssssssssss*

Thanks

to-you-know-who.

If you read my blog. ;)

Ho Ho

Dear Assoc Prof Tan Teck Koon,

Hope this email finds you well ;)

I am one of the recipients for the individual awards under "Distinguished Leadership" (DL) category. I didn't manage to mingle and say hello to you during the dinner segment, hence thought of dropping you an email to convey my gratitude and appreciation to OSA staff for the wonderful evening last Friday.

I'm not sure of the work allocation for the night's programme. As I am doing similar events on a regularly basis within my voluntary circle, I totally could understand the workings behind the planning and execution of it. I truly believe the staff who are involved in NUS SAA Award Ceremony deserve a pat on the back, having to deliver and coordinate a relatively formal evening yet not forgetting to inject an element of nostalgia within the few hours of programme.

I used the term "nostalgia" because I am one of the rare few from the recipients to have recently graduated and going back to campus for this award was an exciting and emotional experience for me. The way the night was structured certainly added to the warmth I felt as a graduate of NUS, receiving an award from a place which moulded me through a significant phase of my academic life (and working life for now).

A few personal highlights I felt from the programme was the accompanying music when the "DL" category was rolled out, perhaps the seqence of the categories adds the tinge of "glam-ness" to it. I sincerely thank the person who is in charge of the music and the slides. The two complements each other completely, with a rather impactful music accompanied as the slides came into our visiblity, with each of the 8 recipients' individual photos animating one after another on the projected screen. The award certainly goes beyond the trophy, it was an honour for me, and I hope for NUS too! Assoc Prof Tan, do convey my thanks to the officer who put in utmost effort in presenting the slides and music for the night, it was remarkably done. It is not an easy fleet to put together the music and the slides, any slight mishap will jeopardize the ambience. My family and I, together with my nominator, truly enjoyed the evening's programme.

A word of special thanks to Wee San and Ms Mala too! The former diligently gave me a call on the day of the photoshoot to ensure I know the directions to NUS ADM Block, Wee San was indeed very effective in answering my queries through emails. Ms Mala did not only help to facilitate our administrative process but also managed to source for another ticket so that my younger sister could attend the ceremony. I believe both of them went beyond their designated job scope, to go that extra mile for students (and graduates) takes effort and heart to do it. Thankfully I met them towards the end of the dinner, nevertheless, do thank them on my behalf once again.

As the evening ended, the nostalgia element did not diminish. In fact, I am sure the award enlightened all recipients in one way or another. I earnestly look forward to my next NUS visit and will pop by OSA !

A simple of word of thanks, once again!

Thank you for your time!

Best Regards
Tan Hui Yi

NUS SAA 2009
30th Oct
Heng Mui Keng Audi

It has been almost half a year since I officially ended my last NUS exam. People always tell me to treasure campus life cos working life will never be as free. Totally understand it now, especially when I am caught in between the desire to volunteer yet work commitments come into the picture.

Parallel lines just won't meet.

At least for now, the conviction to serve and to volunteer has yet to diminish.

I certainly hope not. ;)

The greatest thing in me, at least one of them, is to give all out for those I deemed worthy of my time and effort. Even if this means that I need to sleep less, even if it means that I need to give up my own time.

Volunteering has evolved to a stage whereby I need it to achieve the work-life balance right now. One of the most effective ways to get my mind off the work I am doing.

I recently made two trips back to NUS, if you been reading my blog, probably got the updates already. It felt really good to go back campus, especially leaving from Raffles Place. The idea of going back to a place where you know you will have greetings from a lot of people, a place which taught me a lot for the past 4 years.

I realised I have been taking a lot from NUS, from friends in campus, from zhongwenxi and I didn't give anything back. This thought surfaced when someone asked me during the award ceremony "so what did you contribute to NUS with respect to this award? "

the answer was nothing, i did not contribute anything to NUS.

Yet a lot of pple in NUS contributed to my life, to my growth as an individual.

I sincerely count my blessings, to see so much under NUS, to discover so much when I put into certain assignments under NUS.

There are many many thoughts which went through my mind as the night peels away.

things like ...

I am glad parents and hui ting were there. For a moment, i know the award goes beyond my name, it went straight into their hearts. they don't say it, but i know they are so proud of me. It is indeed very nice to say to others that "i am attending cos my daughter is one of the award recipients"

how i see mummy's excitement when her eyes beamed when she saw my photo hanging on the lamp post. haha

how daddy somehow just act indifferent to it, but i know he is probably screaming his lungs inside.

things will be very different if they stopped me from doing the things i believe in. how many times when i called back from youth council saying that i will be late, how many occasions when they know I am damn tired but still stuck at meetings with volunteers, how they do not question anything about my passion in doing all these.

It has been a long journey, from 2004.

The journey continues.

and will be so for a long period of time.

;)

this entry is dedicated to myself.

continue to do things people don't believe in.

it is ok to be different.

so long I believe it.

Sick of it

When I tried to be honest, people just hide away themselves.

This is saddening yet interesting to observe.

自作孽

NUS Student
Achievement Awards 2009

I seriously miss campus.

This photo entry to satisfy your desire to read for the moment.

Will drop something during weekend.